1. Another celebrity suicide over “severe depression.” Second in one week. Trump won’t follow suit though. He thinks “severe depression” is a dip in the road so shallow a woman’s boobs don’t bounce.

  2. University of Toledo researchers discovered a sperm structure that may exacerbate infertility. Mainly when University of Toledo researchers hit the dating pool.

    • Toledo’s sports teams are called the Rockets, but it sounds like the researchers want to postpone lift-off.

  3. The President says he doesn’t need to prepare for the Korean summit because, “its about attitude.” And the good news is he has plenty of it; the bad news, most of it ain’t good.

  4. The Philadelphia Eagles showed so little interest in having Trump recognize their Super Bowl title that Trump “uninvited” them to the White House. Suddenly, death row inmates are showing little interest in being executed.

  5. The Golden State Warriors won their third NBA Championship Title in four years last night versus the Cavaliers of Cleveland. ***Unfortunately, LeBronze James took second …again

  6. Hey, alright. Our team of African- American athletes owned by Golden State’s rich white guys are better than the teams of African- American athletes owned by every other city’s rich white guys. Woo- hoo. Now to buy a t- shirt with their corporate logo celebrating this achievement.

  7. Justify wins the Triple Crown with a dominant victory at Belmont yesterday; becoming just the 13th thoroughbred to win horse racing’s biggest spectacle. ***On the plus-side, if he gets an invite to the White House, he could be the first athlete NOT to criticize Trump

  8. Stormy Daniels is launching a perfume called “Truth” 1. Test group calls it, Trump’s Funk. 2. For that girl that wants to smell like she slept with self-absorbed rich misogynist pig. 3. Are they gonna call it Calvin Swine? 4. Hope it’s not a Scratch ‘n Sniff Perfume 5. It’s just a bottle of Melania’s Tears

  9. President Trump complains he can’t watch porn in the White House. But not to worry. He’s reserved a theater seat right next to Pee Wee Herman.

  10. The eighth-grade class at St. Cornelius Middle School were given bullet-proof backpack shields as graduation presents. In a related story, graduates of the New York University School of Journalism were gifted with Tweet-proof phone covers.

  11. Talking about the Kim Jong Un summit and asked what it would be like to negotiate with a madman, Trump actually said, “That’s his problem, not mine.” Acceptance is the first step to recovery.

  12. Trump says he attended Wharton School of Business. I checked, he did. Records show he graduated Magna Cum Rich Daddy.

  13. According to CNN (June 10, 2018), there is a new Japanese Pop Band whose average age is 84. KBG84 is playing to sold out crowds and even has a record deal ***Please tell me that their first song isn’t, Knockin on Heaven’s Door. ***Must be a horrible conflict when outdoor concert goers are told to sit on the lawn by event staff, just to be yelled at by the band members to, “Get off the Lawn.”

    • Donald Trump says Kim Jong-un “loves his people,” and is a softer more gentle leader than most people think Which explains why the North Korean national anthem is, “Killing me softly.”

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