1. Research at Lund University in Sweden has found that fruit flies choose to lay their eggs in giraffe poop rather than lion poop. It’s a matter of altitude, since the giraffe poop has farther to fall it is softer making egg laying easier. Guess that’s why the Kardashians like the NBA.

  2. Hey everybody, where’s Melania? Recovering from plastic surgery or kidnapped to keep from talking to Mueller? Or did the operation to remove the chip the Clintons & Obamas implanted go wrong?

    • Melania was spotted two days ago at a White House press briefing, alongside her husband, after being absent from the public for more than three weeks. Apparently, she’s been with President Trump the whole time. **So, it’s all much more horrific than we first thought!!!

  3. Donald Trump now claims to have special powers as president making him incapable of committing a crime. Apparently he was bitten by a radioactive spider at Camp David.

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