1. Doctors at Johns Hopkins performed first total penile transplant using a deceased donor’s entire penis. If I’m going to pay thousands of dollars for a new penis, it better be from a dead porn star.

  2. A giant indoor farm in China is breeding 6 billion cockroaches a year for medicinal use. Possible side effects: headache, upset stomach, and sensitivity to light.

  3. I grew up in a really tough neighborhood. A beat-up truck used to cruise our streets ringing bells for the Bad Humor Man.

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