I have a theory that old people use farting like booster rockets. They use farting to get up out of chairs. They use farting to walk down the street. They use farting to climb stairs. My theory is being tested at the Fart Propulsion Laboratory in Sun City, Arizona.



  1. It’s illegal for the President of the United States to drive. But that doesn’t mean he can’t drive many of us crazy.

  2. Russia’s election commission registered eight candidates to run in next month’s presidential election against Putin, and one of them is a girl. I don’t know, he may have a problem with her. The other day she was riding her horse in Red Square, and she looked pretty good without a shirt.

  3. For the sixth year in a row Los Angeles was ranked as the most congested city in the world. It’s gotten so bad Kim Kardashian’s yoga pants were seen double-parked on Rodeo Drive.

  4. Starbucks is opening a coffee house in Milan, the first one in Italy. And I think it will work. They’ve partnered with Fiat to build self-serving lattes.

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