1. Living under President Trump is like riding with someone who owns a fleet of cars but no driver’s license. And he’s blind. “How hard can it be? Teenagers do it all the time. Get in.” And there’s 7 billion of us in the back seat.

  2. Even though he wants them all out of the country, Trump still plans to celebrate May 5th. Or as he calls it, Cinco de My-Ho.

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