Scientists at the University of Limerick have found a way to convert tears into electricity.
There once was a man from Nantucket,
Who kept all his tears in a Tesla.
His daughter, named Nan,
Ran away with a man.
And as for the Tesla, Nantucket.



  1. To reduce petroleum-based stuff in our landfill, a team of students and teachers at the University of California, San Diego, are developing flip flops made from algae. But there is always a tradeoff with mother nature. So—like it or lump it—whales will be eating Chalupas.

  2. A cemetery council in England declined an 84-year-old man’s last request for a poem to be etched on his tombstone, declaring it to be inappropriate language. Of course I can’t repeat what he wanted, but the first two words were “Prince” and “Charles,” and the last two words were “pen” and “is”.

  3. The U.S. Department of Agriculture claims the average American eats 30 pounds of cheese a year: “That’s how much the average Canadian brings back when they cross-border shop on July 1.”

  4. My wife is already complaining that I’m watching too much post season baseball. Well, maybe if she let me go past first base now and then, I’d pay more attention to her.

  5. My cable provider offers a channel called “Dog TV” aimed at entertaining pets. It turns out this is my wife’s favorite new show. No big surprise here.

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