1. An 11-year-old boy with a lawn mowing business wrote Trump and asked if he could mow the White House lawn. But after meeting the President, the kid decided to become a barber.

  2. When you’re in school an “A” or “B” is desirable. But as a bra size, well, that’s hardly a passing grade. Give me that Double D every time, ladies.

  3. The NFL wants to put a full-time team in England. But it never will work. Mainly because it’ll get you drawn and quartered if you turn your back and kneel while the Queen is on the throne.

  4. The fire department in Worms, Germany, responded to a call from a local gym that reported a man had a dumbbell weight stuck around his penis. And if you think that is weird, you should see the key to his Porsche.

  5. United Airlines’ last 747 flight will start in San Francisco and end in Honolulu; flight number 747, on November 7th, leaving at 7AM. As you notice, 7 is the featured number. So in honor of that, mechanics will fit 7 tires per side instead of 8. The Mile High Club will be renamed 7th Heaven. And pilots will drink Seagram’s 7.

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