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  1. Women from England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland recently competed in the Miss Mermaid U.K. pageant. Contestants were judged in three categories. Talent. Swimsuit. And answering the question: How many broiled mermaids does it take to end world hunger?

  2. A bill signed into law by the mayor of Honolulu will impose fines on pedestrians who are caught texting while crossing the street. They call it the Distracted Pedestrian Law. Watch out for their other new law: Thongs for the Mammaries. A ban on topless beaches.

  3. Trump says he acted like any other father when he helped Don Jr. draft a fictional release to explain his Russia meeting. Any other father who heads a crime syndicate.

  4. In Tennessee a bride was arrested at a motel when during an “alcohol-fueled argument” she pulled out a gun and fired it at her husband…. while still wearing her wedding dress. Your move, Florida.

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