BILL WILLIAMS says:
In his new book, The Cheese Trap, Dr. Neal Barnard claims Velveeta cheese is as addictive as heroin. What’s great about Velveeta is you can eat it and get high, jam it between bricks to make a fireplace, or leave the plastic on and have a dandy bookmark.
Happy St. Patrick’s Day, everybody. Do us all a favor and stay away from the green beer. It’s Leprechaun piss.
At my annual physical my doctor suggested I change my exercise program, apparently jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck doesn’t meet the requirements to keep healthy, and he also said that his suggestion to avoid lifting heavy weights doesn’t mean that I must sit down to pee.
http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com
Short and dense like Trumps hands?
Kent State’s Golden Flashes have the least money of any team in March Madness. In fact, they are so poor, President Trump is thinking of calling in the National Guard to shoot some baskets.
When St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland, they must have found a new home in Washington DC.
Pittsburgh man indicted for hate crime assault In Red Robin incident. So sad–attacking a bird just because of the color of its feathers.
Most administrations try to hit the ground running. The tRump administration hit the ground careening.
Last week’s intruder was on the White House grounds for over 15 minutes. That’s more time than Melania Trump.
Trump’s budget slashes funding for Meals on Wheels–except, of course, for the filet mignon that arrives to his table on a service cart.
Trump’s budget slashes funding for Meals on Wheels. Hey, the elderly can eat roadkill. We’ll rename the program Meals Under Wheels.
Muhammad Ali’s widow and son have had problems getting through airport security lately. I’m not sure it’s because of their Muslim names, though. After all, you never hear about security stopping Ali MacGraw.
So Trump thought a line from a Nigerian poem was an Irish proverb. Pence used a phrase that is mildly insulting to the Irish. And Paul Ryan thought that golf is Ireland’s national sport, when it’s really Scotland’s. Suddenly, everyone in Washington is Dan Quayle.
Chuck Berry, I am sorry to see you go.
“Sweet little six feet under….”
What? Too soon?
Donald Trump doesn’t grasp the importance of a handshake.
During a Fox News interview Donald Trump complained Alec Baldwin’s impersonation of him was ridiculous. He said as President and Commander-in-Chief he couldn’t do anything about it. But he did utter an evocative quote: Will no one rid me of this corpulent bald one.
Study found men find women most attractive when they are twenty-three. Twenty-three?–that’s an old maid says Woody Allen.
A former model for men’s magazine Maxim is running for Congress. At least she’s one politician who won’t be lining her pockets.
The new Disney film Beauty and the Beast has been banned in places like Alabama and Malaysia due to one of its characters being gay. But Donald Duck can run around “commando”, and also not wear any pants at all; without controversy.
(Gary B. was inspiration for this joke)
LOL, TC!
I had to tell a non basketball fan that the Zags were not named after one of the guys that invented that ‘rolling paper’. (and Duke is not named after John Wayne)
Drumph’s new budget wants cuts for everything except Membership Dues at Mar-a-Lago, Trump Golf Courses and rates at Trump Hotels.
Drumph mouthpiece Kellyanne CON-way in an interview claimed that “microwaves are able to be turned into surveillance and can spy on you”. “You’re kidding, aren’t you?” exclaimed Fox Sports reporter Erin Andrews.
Sesame Street is introducing a new kid on the street–a muppet named Julia, who has autism. They rejected my suggestion of a muppet named Donald, who has narcissism.
Shaq believes the earth is flat. Well, it wasn’t until he fell on it.