Happy new year! — 16 Comments

  1. Waffle House employee is fired after shooting her gun in air to scare away robbers who threatened to kill everyone in the restaurant. I think Waffle House should give her another shot.

  2. Sam Bradford set the single-season completion percentage record. Unfortunately, most of his passes were of the “dink and dunk” variety. So it was like winning the popular vote, but not the Electoral College.

  3. New Jersey police seek overweight, excessively hairy, naked man who exposed him to teenage girls. Authorities have nicknamed him “Sascrotch.”

  4. NJ police seek overweight, excessively hairy, naked man who exposed himself to teenage girls. “I have an alibi, ” claimed Chris Christie.

  5. Doctors at the University of Wisconsin-Madison department of urology have developed a penis implant that becomes erect when heated. Tough luck Cool Hand Luke.

  6. Bristol Palin wrote a blog post attacking “A-listers” who refuse to perform at Trump’s inauguration, saying Hollywood is a bunch of sissies. Bristol will appear 3rd in the show and perform her very unique talent … Getting pregnant out of wedlock. 

  7. Living through the countdown until President- Elect tRump and his Cabinet of Deplorables take over is like being forced to binge- watch the Apocalypse with the fast- forward inoperable.

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