What’s the world coming to? — 12 Comments

  1. A Chinese martial artist can throw a playing card so fast it cuts open a beer can. Even more amazing than that, after opening a chicks brewski, he can unsnap her bra with a flick of his Bic.

  2. Sacramento’s mayor tackled a man who hit him with a pie at a charity event. Prosecutors are seeking a prison term of 3.14 years.

  3. Due to drought and heat, water levels are approaching record lows in the Great Salt Lake. It’s so bad it may be renamed the Mediocre Salt Lake.

  4. I tell you, New York rents are outrageous. So outrageous, last week a guy was asking $1995 a month for his manspread on the subway.

  5. All 600 episodes of ‘The Simpsons’ will air in a 300-hour FXX marathon. Not to be outdone, Comedy Central will broadcast its own cartoon marathon by showing all of Donald Trump’s rallies.

  6. The lone American in orbit will end up voting for president from the International Space Station, if her homecoming is delayed. Fittingly, she plans to vote for the space cadet.

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