And the sixth. — 15 Comments

  1. Use of the FBI defense if you’re arrested for hiring a prostitute:
    Your honor, I was so surprised to find out that she was a prostitute that I tripped and fell, lodging my penis in her (pick any orifice) for 20 to 30 minutes, so using the FBI approved Clinton defense, I can only say that it was “not my intent” to have sex with her.

  2. The BBC has shut down the new Top Gear after just one season. After Matt LeBlanc threatened to quit, the British host did quit. It was so mind-numbingly boring, if it had been around 30 years ago, Bill Cosby would have saved a fortune in Quaaludes.

  3. Shares for Hostess Snack Cakes will hit Wall Street this Fall. Stock experts agree on one thing. Twinkies will have a longer shelf life than the stock.

  4. FBI says no charges will be brought against Hillary for her Email faux pas. Didn’t say she was innocent, just that they couldn’t prove she cheated. So you know what that means for Mrs. Clinton? After the U.S., it’s president of the Teamsters.

  5. Starbucks bumps up prices, again! Their prices are getting so high, Tesla has threatened to make an electric Latte.

  6. Now that the choice is between Trump and Hillary, Republicans are trying to find a way to get another term for Obama.

  7. Trump says he raised $51 million for Republicans during June. Actually, only $3 million was in cash. The rest was in comped golf games, hotel rooms and expected royalties from book sales.

  8. Americans are agonizing through this long, drawn-out process of finding the right running mate to share the ticket. There’s the tiresome vetting of potential candidates and the endless auditioning of all those people who want the job. The tension is getting to be too much. Please, Kelly Ripa, find a co-host soon!

  9. The Juno spacecraft departed Aug 5/2011, traveled 1.74 billion miles and slipped into Jupiter’s orbit at 8:53 p.m. PDT Monday. There was a 1-second deviation from its intended scheduled arrival time. Take heed, United, Jet Blue and Air Canada.

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