Dromes. — 39 Comments

  1. The LAPD just got a bunch of those new BMW i3 electric cars. They’re clean and quiet, perfect for patrolling Hollywood. Plus every time they pass the Kardashian place, the car gets a charge out of all those boobs.

  2. The White House announced plans to speed-up the wait for organ transplants. First, make it easier to become an organ donor. Second, increase the number of organ transplants. Third, get McDonald’s to change “Do You Want Fries With That?” to, “Do you Want a Zipper With That?”

  3. The NRA is right. Guns don’t kill people. It’s those darn bullets that put the holes in that the blood leaks out of way too quick. Banning bullets is the way to go.

  4. Astronomers say due to the vastness of the Milky Way it may be another 1,500 years before we contact aliens. That gives Donald Trump plenty of time to build a wall.

  5. I was trying to get through “War and Peace” when I spilled beet juice on myself. Now I’m REALLY well-red.

  6. 79% of Americans think politicians have lost touch with ordinary people. Legislators scoffed saying they don’t pay much attention to these kind of polls anyway.

  7. My tiny granddaughter found a frog in the backyard that has 5 penises. As you can imagine, this was a tad embarrassing for everyone.

  8. If elected president Donald Trump says he’d invite North Korea’s Kim Jong Un over here to discuss curbing their nuclear program. It could work, but there’s one thing for sure. They won’t meet at Super Cuts.

  9. A group of Omaha teens are hoping to start a new trend for the summer. Car surfing. Using a car roof as a surfboard. Even worse, they’re doing it to the Beach Boys, “Little Deuce Coffin.”

  10. It took me awhile to get my little red sports car, but still, there is nothing quite like having the wind blowing through your skull…

  11. New York State to allow alcohol sales earlier on Sundays. Now New Yorkers won’t have to attend church to get spirits.

  12. Meatloaf collapsed on stage while performing “I’d Do Anything for Love.” Unfortunately, he’d also do anything for a cheeseburger.

  13. Meatloaf collapsed on stage while performing in Canada. Hopefully, he will be OK. Unfortunately, the same can’t be said for the stage.

  14. The Westboro Baptist Church is planning to picket some of the funerals of Orlando shooting victims. Can’t someone tell ISIL that the WBC church is decorated with pictures of Mohammad?

  15. Today is Barry Manilow’s birthday. He’s so old that when he first began to “write the songs the whole world sings” it was with a quill on parchment.

  16. Photos of Bill Clinton with Donald Trump set to go public. Don’t look for any copies hanging in NOW offices.

  17. Scott Baio says Donald Trump is the only person who can deal effectively with Islamic terrorism. Heck, I’d rather have Charles in charge.

  18. While campaigning in Dallas, Donald Trump mistakenly referred to a mechanical bull as a horse. Unfortunately, his audience also failed to recognize the bull.

  19. Led Zeppelin is in British court over copying “Stairway to Heaven.” Some 40 years have passed since the making of the seminal recording. What the Hell…?

  20. Wildlife officials say a bear attacked a woman running a marathon in a national preserve in northern New Mexico. The bear thought she was fast food.

  21. Appropriately, the NBA season ended on Father’s Day. Millions watched–and that was just the players’ kids.

  22. At the Tigers/Royals game this weekend my wife says she had to wait in a 20-minute line at the Ladies restroom. “Yeah,” she whispered, “it was an epic Game of Thrones.”

  23. Donald Trump reportedly has dropped his campaign manager. No word on what will now be the role of the poodle on Trump’s head.

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