Sitting on the throne. — 17 Comments

  1. Fundraiser for John McCain campaign arrested in drug bust. This could explain the choice of Sarah Palin as running mate.

  2. My wife won’t tell me what she wants for Mother’s Day. I don’t know why she always has to be mum about this.

  3. A woman in New Zealand returned a library book that she had checked out over 60 years ago. The fine would have been $17,000 but was forgiven because of the title: “Typewriters for Dummies.”

  4. North Korea experienced its “first ever” robbery at their central bank. The bad guys made off with a reported 70 million Korean won. There’s no known exchange rate for the won, but best guess is 66,000 Vietnamese dong. Or about 2 and 1/2 Happy Meals.

  5. Kirk Cameron said wives should follow their husbands lead–and no he wasn’t talking about on the dance floor.

  6. Workers renovating a century-old Cincinnati performance hall discovered human remains under the orchestra pit. Authorities haven’t determined a cause of death, but they haven’t ruled out violins.

  7. The Hubble telescope has captured images of a not very bright galaxy far far away. Must be where the Kardashians came from.

  8. Barack Obama attended his last White House Correspondents’ Dinner over the weekend. At the podium he received a standing ovation, then North Korea launched a limited nuclear attack on the president. Fortunately, Wolf Blitzer was able to neutralize it with his can of Red Bull.

  9. President Obama has nominated the first-ever female dean at West Point in their 216-year history. She’s a very modern girl; Doesn’t believe in waterbording; Puts her Jockeys in the Maytag just like the boys.

  10. Ku Klux Klan Imperial Wizard endorsed Donald Trump for president. In gratitude Trump will donate old sheets from his hotels to the Klan.

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