That’ll leave a mark. — 18 Comments

  1. Bank burglary suspects in Brazil covered themselves in aluminum foil to hide from alarms. Authorities said the men had long wrap sheets.

  2. Jordan Spieth and his girlfriend are still together although he reportedly refuses to engage in oral sex. He doesn’t want to get his balls wet.

  3. Scientists say the drug lithium, used for bipolar disorder and depression, extended the lives of fruit flies by 16 percent. This is good news for people who want to live longer. Bad news for people who want to live longer and hate rotten bananas.

  4. Three men stranded on a remote island in the Pacific Ocean made a “HELP” sign with palm fronds. They were eventually spotted by a Navy plane and rescued, but not before the pilots spelled out “LOL” in the sky.

  5. Neither of Donald Trump’s kids can vote for him in the New York Primary. They didn’t understand the rules about how to register, and so plead stupidity. The acorns do not fall far from the tree.

  6. Saved by the Bell’ actor Dustin Diamond was released from jail one month early for mopping the floor and doing laundry. Does that mean he now he has a clean record?

  7. A photogtapher captured a birth in the backseat of a car. If the mother had been a Kardashian, it would have been the conception.

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