Give the eye back to the tiger. — 12 Comments

  1. My wife and I staged a Hollywood-themed BBQ. When lots of unexpected guests showed up, she whispered to me: “We’re going to need a bigger goat.”

  2. Apple’s new generation TV features their digital assistant, Siri. Apple went too far with this one. Siri blushes during the Victoria’s Secret commercials. Scolds if you watch TV in your underwear, and if you live in a basement: Fixes you up with her niece.

  3. On a Portland bound Jet Blue flight a sleeping man suddenly stood up and started urinating on the passengers around him. Now I ask you ladies and gentlemen. Why wasn’t the pilot in the cockpit?

  4. Arnold Schwarzenegger will be replacing Donald Trump on “Celebrity Apprentice.” Firing people should be no problem for the Terminator.

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