If she could turn back time… — 8 Comments

  1. I have proof that no time machine will be invented in my lifetime. If one ever is created in the future, I would take it back to the day before I met my wife and push myself in front of a bus. I’m sure that I’d be out of the hospital by now and probably not even be using crutches anymore.

  2. The Laptop Butler clamps to your laptop and holds your drink. Costs 20 bucks. For another 20 you can get the “Laptop Willie.” *Guess what that holds?

  3. Transgender people are complaining they can’t get proper health care. And it’s not easy for the doctors either. Not only do they have to know that OBGYN/PROSTATE stuff. They have to know what to do when leather chafes.

  4. I could never run for office. Don’t just have skeletons in my closet; have the whole bone army from the 7th Voyage of Sinbad. Makes the Killing Fields look like a pre- school, day- care, toy box.

  5. A Massachusetts employee of Wild Oaks Markets, a smaller Whole Foods competitor, is charged with calling in a fake bomb threat so she could leave work early. A bomb threat?! Was that really necessary? At these places she might have been able to close down the store by alleging something like an excess of gluten.

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