Is Kurt Russell coming? — 16 Comments

  1. Rudy Giuliani says that Barack Obama doesn’t love America. I know for a fact the President’s favorite song is “Horse With No Name.”

  2. At the NFL combine, Jameis Winston ran the 40 in 4.97 sec. Rumor has it a he improved his time to 4.55 when a scout gave him a bag of crab legs.

  3. All the Oscar winners are aging. Jack Nicholson is so old his dark glasses have joined AARP. American Association for Retired Peepers.

  4. First Oscars without Joan Rivers on the red carpet. Her replacements were so lame Steve Carell had to tell his wife, ’That dress makes your butt look big.’

  5. The Kardashian sisters hit an icy patch of road in Montana and slid off into a ditch. No one was hurt, thank God, and the girls were able to use their butts as flotation devices.

  6. When I first met my wife, she was wearing a perfume called Poison. 31 years later I torture myself wondering how I could have missed such an obvious clue.

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