Assault and battery! — 6 Comments

  1. I’m getting tired of the neighbors complaining about all the noise coming from my house on New Year’s Eve. Hell, I can’t help it if I snore so loud.

  2. Porsche is building an all-electric car, cost about 100 Grand. But it’ll be fast, really fast. Go from 0 to mid-life crisis in 3.2 seconds.

  3. It’s a new year, and I want to be optimistic, but my wife still has a big nose and small boobs. And audiences are still not recognizing my comedic genius…

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