Jenny Craig Craigstie? — 9 Comments

  1. A man disappeared during last week’s Denver Broncos game. In related news, last Sunday the entire New York Jets offense disappeared.

  2. A thief in Germany allegedly squirted breast milk at pharmacy workers and made off with $127. It could have turned out much worse–she was armed to the teat.

  3. I personally love Halloween. I get teenaged cheerleaders on my porch, goths, sexy witches…it’s like a fantasy come true for the price of a bag of Snickers. I hear the door-bell and rush to see who’s come to visit. My wife says: “You’re so nice to give those kids treats!” It is a symbiotic relationship, my dear…

  4. This guy was digging in his backyard and found a really old fossilized snail-like thing, so he took it to a scientist. The scientist told him it was a half-million-year-old sloth. The guy asked was he sure because it looked like a snail to him. *The scientist said it was a sloth, and pointed out the Marlins cap. 

  5. Fake World Series tickets were confiscated in Kansas City this week. Officials knew they were phony when they noticed the Commissioner’s signature was “Pete Rose”.

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