At least they’re doing something! — 15 Comments

  1. I went to a topless bar and maxxed out my credit card in 20 minutes. Man, those things should come with warning labels…

  2. Hurricane Marie has created colossal waves and dangerous conditions on the California coast. At least a dozen swimmers have been rescued by Josh Shaw.

  3. Neil Young will be divorcing his wife of 36 years. She says that he’s just a “Helpless” “Old Man” and he doesn’t have a “Heart of Gold”. He responded with – My My Hey Hey, who the hell asked you to stay?

  4. Suzuki, who stopped selling cars in the US, has recalled 19,000 sedans due to a risk of spider webs affecting fuel lines. As there are no dealers, owners are given a toll free line to get further instructions from company spokesman Peter Parker.

  5. Yankees catcher Francisco Cervelli took a nasty foul ball on his family jewels. His agent immediately signed him up as an understudy for the lead role of Frankie Valli of the Four Seasons in the Broadway show Jersey Boys.

  6. petition seeks to ban ‘traumatic’ Life Alert commercials. If banned from the airwaves, Life Alert plans to sell its “fallen and can’t get up” slogan to Cialis.

  7. A thief with bulging biceps has stolen booze from six Florida liquor stores. And he always escapes in a muscle car.

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