I chew-chew-chews you! — 8 Comments

  1. So I went to the market today and the 20-year-old checkout girl in the low-cut top asked me if I needed any “help” out. I figured I looked a little frail -or- she’d seen the latest Ron Jeremy movie.

  2. AS YOU AGE, simple things get more difficult. Like getting in/out of the bathtub. These days, it’s more of a “tub crawl” for old Will the Thrill.

  3. A European Court of Human Rights has upheld a ban by France on wearing full-face veils in public. Except for British people, who are exempt. Their teeth are très icky.

  4. The 2015 Dodge Charger with a Hellcat Hemi engine has seven hundred and seven horses of steroid-crazed power. It’s got so much muscle, it can pull the glue right off Donald Trump’s head.

  5. There’s a petition to rename Ronald Reagan National Airport after USA goalkeeper Tim Howard. Howard played on a team that managed only one win in four games. That would be like renaming O’Hare after the best player on the Cubs.

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