JERRY W says:
Tom Cruise got the lead part in “The Edge Of Tomorrow” after Warner Brothers realized that instead of having to pay thousands of dollars more to get an army of 6’4″ tall combat ready looking soldiers, with Mr. Cruise in the scene the rest of the cast only needed to be about 5’7″.
Tom Cruise says he would prefer to be called height impaired or vertically challenged in any replies today. Apparently, he has a short fuse about this issue.
So He’s Oversensitive Regarding Tallness.
Tom Cruise is so short, he could play Hervé Villechaize to Hervé Villechaize
Or his lack thereof?
Toronto Mayor Rob Ford is in the news again. This time he says someone stole his voter list … Which wouldn’t be so bad, but it was also his dealers list.
It’s hard to understand Sunnis and Shiites hating each other so much. It would be like Catholics and Protestants killing each other… oh.
Will,
Do you suppose it will be easier to understand if you think of them as the O’Sunnis and the O’Shiites?
Yesterday I went to a golf match and a soccer game broke out.
Those Japanese “Anime” characters with the gigantic eyes freak me out! Like a woman and a squid mated and made a squeaky-voiced girl in a sailor suit…
The US missile defense system destroyed a target in a key test yesterday. Dang, why couldn’t they have chosen a Wal-mart?
The technology industry says the personal home robot is not that far away … Anxious nerds await the iGirl, who’ll clean their basement, and their clocks.
Pope Francis declared all Mafioso excommunicated from the Catholic Church … He warned any priest caught giving them communion would get the cement confessional.
A tsunami warning for Alaska has been canceled. Apparently, Sarah Palin saw no large wave from her house.
A dog was found after going missing for two years in a California forest. Fortunately, someone recognized his picture on a carton of milk bones.
I asked the Comedy Club owner how he liked my set. He said this: “If you were a race-horse, we’d have to put you down.”
In last night’s episode of ‘Finding Bigfoot’ investigators were looking for bigfoot in Florida. Here was their big chance to capture one. Florida’s senior bigfoot are slowed by painful corns, bunions, and hammertoes.
Legend has it that those who gaze upon rare albino alligators will receive good fortune. On the downside, shoes and belts made from these reptiles should not be worn after Labor Day.