TERRY ETTER says:
They say you have to be careful with dating websites. If you don’t use the right protection you can get a nasty virus. How do you date a website, anyway?
Always Funny
Topical humor from the world's best humorists
TERRY ETTER says:
They say you have to be careful with dating websites. If you don’t use the right protection you can get a nasty virus. How do you date a website, anyway?
Recent research indicates that there’s a disney cartoon character with a dark secret, a young man who was said to have used an alias when he aided the mechanized German army during WWII. But with a straight face (and nose) that would make Pinocchio envious, Peter Panzer to this day denies being that guy.
http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com
It’s the time of year for the “IN & OUT” lists. Charcoal is in, black is out, that type of stuff. At our house, celibacy is in, and sex is out.
Texas Senator Ted Cruz has decided to renounce his Canadian citizenship. Canadians thinking “good, now if Justin Bieber and Rob Ford would only do the same”
So sick of those Michael Bolton Honda commercials–they keep running them AD nauseum.
Shirley McLaine was a recipient at the Kennedy Center Honors telecast on CBS. Fittingly, one of the sponsors was Nine Lives.
Taylor Swift was named the most charitable celebrity in 2013. In the first six months alone, she gave 20 guys the opportunity to date her.
It’s all about the “spin” you put on things. My blonde cousin insists she isn’t a prostitute. “I’m just into ‘crowd-funding,'” she relates.
Will, best of the day!
I know that those “R” and “F” keys are close together, so was “relates” a typo for she “felates”? Just askin’
Jer: When you’re in the top 2%, who cares what the other 95% think ?
Will:
Math teachers?
Some Canadian researcher claims that sex is exercise … Only if it’s like that Urban Cowboy song, “Lookin’ for love in all the wrong places.”
Think a GPS would help find the right place?
Outgoing NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg spent $650 million of his own money improving the city during his 12 years in office. Equally impressive was what real estate impresario Donald Trump spent $650 million on in the past 12 years … Roadkill Toupees.
Ted Cruz doesn’t want to be a Canadian anymore … He’s so hot to be 100% American he’s gotten himself a Duck Dynasty tattoo: “America. Love it or wreck it.”
It’s New Years Day and Miley has Twerked the ball down in Times Square, Vin Scully has Marshalled the Rose Parade and as usual, Charlie Sheen has covered the first bowl of the day …The toilet bowl. Was he ever sick!
America’s population has stopped growing and the economy is to blame, says the Census Bureau … Seems the only “it” Americans are lovin’ anymore is McDonald’s Dollar Menu.
There’s a debate over whether they should make a plus-size Barbie doll. There’s a joke in there somewhere. But you wouldn’t want to make fun at Barbie’s expanse.
I went to Toys R Us and I’m telling you, that doll’s really stacked.
Stacked, oh hell yes she is.
Playing with a full deck?
Not so much.
Got any good stuff planned for New Year’s Eve big daddy Jer?
Hey Bill,
At this point in my life I’ve started to consider anything to be “good stuff”, and every day above ground to be a good day.
How about you?
Bill: I went to Chinatown and went looking for love in all the “Wong” places….
Happy New Year to everyone here! And a very special thank you to Howie!!!
Still above ground. I will spend NYE trying to think of the perfect response to an imperfect audience.
The US Marine Corps has postponed its new physical fitness standard for women because most apparently can’t do pull ups. Funny isn’t it–women in the military can’t do pull ups and NBA players can’t do pull outs.
Barack Obama has been playing a lot of golf in Hawaii. I wonder if he’s able to keep the same caddy.
Barack Obama is vacationing again in Hawaii. With all the leis you get in Hawaii, I’m surprised Bill Clinton didn’t vacation there.
If I found a lottery ticket among leaves I was raking, it wouldn’t be a million-dollar winner. All I’d get from picking it up would be a paper cut.
Wouldn’t you share with your wife?