Tis the season… — 6 Comments

  1. The North American Aerospace Defense command (NORAD) and an Evil Bloated Virus Magnet (Microsoft) have teamed up to track Santa’s sleigh this Christmas with Operation Rudolph, using the 47 radar installations of NORAD and a special sled that is to be built by Microsoft. Sadly, it seems that Christmas will need to be delayed this year due to several crashes of their prototype that’s being called the Blue Sleigh of Death v.1, v2.0, v3.0, etc…
    In two possibly related stories, Microsoft’s commissary is providing its employees with venison hash lunches at a steep discount, and Santa’s still trying to get logged into the Obamacare site.

  2. Mayor Blumberg has banned tanning booths in New York City … He figures it’s the best way to keep Snooki and her gang out.

  3. A kid stopped me on street and asked for my autograph. “I saw you in Star Wars, Return of the Jedi!,” she enthused. I signed her notebook, but just who the hell is this Jaba the Hutt character?

  4. Steelers coach Mike Tomlin has been fined $100,000 for his sideline interference with Jacoby Jones. Hmm, sounds like Tomlin could have saved $50,000 by just spilling a drink on him.

  5. The Raptors blew a 27 point third-quarter lead last night in losing to the Golden State Warriors. It was the most embarrassing thing to happen to Toronto recently not involving Rob Ford.

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