It’s Filner-ific! — 19 Comments

  1. A man was found dead at Olivia Newton John’s Florida mansion. A police chief was overheard urging fellow officers “LET’S GET PHYSICAL evidence.”

  2. Burlesque Performer Names?
    Vivian Lashes – Scarlett Nopantson – Maella Cai Vane – Pasty Blue Ribbon – Dominique de Beaute – Siren Bella Bombshell – Cherry a’ Decade Ago

  3. 87 year old Dick Van Dyke was pulled from his blazing Jaguar on an LA Freeway. He is ok, burns to his body were only Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. His car went “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang” just before exploding. What’s he doing driving at his age? Isn’t he permanently crippled from wiping out over the furniture 1,500 times?

  4. After the success of CARS and PLANES Disney’s next movie is called “HANDS.” An animated version of the San Diego mayor’s antics.

  5. There’s a religious war going on in Egypt, and the US is having a Gee Had over it. “Gee,” we wish we “Had” that oil.

  6. How low is the football career of QB Troy Smith? The former Ohio St Heisman Trophy winner is now a CFL (Montreal) backup to Josh Neiswinder from ASU. Wait, that’s Angelo St, San Angelo TX, not Arizona St. Well, actually, it’s not that bad, because if Tebow (another Heisman Trophy winner who’s CFL negotiating rights belong to Montreal) ends up here, he would be behind Smith on the depth chart. What a feather in the cap that would be for Neiswinder, getting the start over two previous Heisman winners.

  7. A Zoo in Central China is closed after it was revealed to have displayed a large dog as an African Lion. They also had another dog being passed off as a wolf. A Western tourist said, “How can you tell, they all look the same.”

  8. A teenage girl in England has a pet skunk. They love to walk on the leash and go to the park together, but most of all they love to play stink finger.

  9. There’s an effort to end offshore tax evasion. All it needs to succeed is for rich people and corporations to tell Congress and the Supreme Court it’s okay with them.

    An obesity gamble – fat chance!

  10. A rare 1960s Ferrari convertible sold in California for a record $27.5 million. This is the same dealer who earlier tried to show Oprah some used Toyotas and Chryslers.

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