JACK PINE says:
A Florida man killed his wife and posted a picture of her dead body on Facebook. Later turned out to be bogus when the man quickly explained he accidently “Liked” a picture of Joan Rivers.
Always Funny
Topical humor from the world's best humorists
Anthony Weiner is still running for NYC mayor and has just released his first TV spot which is a combo Weiner for Mayor and Fruit of the Loom advert … It goes like this: “No matter what happens, you just won’t drop out.”
A butcher suffered derma bon voyaging. Backed into a slicer and got behind in his packaging.
PGA Champion Jason Dufner’s final round scorecard will be sent to The World Golf Hall of Fame, but not until Johnny Manziel co-signs it.
That lab grown hamburger patty introduced in London last week cost over $300,000 to develop. In related news, while shopping in Europe, Oprah was directed by a sales clerk to cheaper cuts.
When my wife said she wanted to work at home, I didn’t know she meant as a hooker. Frankly, I can’t afford her.
LOL “…just won’t drop out.”
Scientists are explaining what’s happening to the brain in those near-death experiences when people think they’re seeing heaven. In a nutshell, that’s what their skull’s becoming.
This is weird but…After watching what’s been happening in Egypt these last few months I think Anthony Weiner might not be such a bad candidate after all. At least with him you’ve already seen the prick you’re getting.
LOL …”the prick you’re getting.”
The guy was seeing a woman doctor at a walk-in clinic…till his wife walked in on them.
They got a saying in the White House. “A day without Mitch McConnell is like a day without dental surgery.”
Gangster Whitey Bulger has been found guilty in Boston for murder, racketeering & extortion. He asked the state if he could be Prisoner 0000081 as he was a big Terrell Owens fan. They told him no, as that number had just been chosen by Aaron Hernandez.
LOL …”day without dental surgery.”
One designer finally combined the two dominant women’s footwear – high-heeled flip-flops.
California Governor Jerry Brown signed a law giving transgender students the right to choose the sex of their restrooms … As expected every 14-year-old boy at Hollywood High said he was transgender and chose girls, except Justin Bieber, he’s still not sure.
India has built their first aircraft carrier. It was a straightforward design with no big problems save one … Rerouting the Ganges to the laundry room.
Tiger has not won a “major” in five years. Insiders say he places too much pressure on himself because he does not want to be remembered as having more “mistresses” than “majors”.
The sci-fi hit movie Elysium takes place 150 years in the future. Are NFL owners still greedy in 2163? After completing a 30 game regular season, every one of the 96 teams makes the playoffs. Super Bowl CXCVII favourites are Billings and Chattanooga.
260-lb wife gets fitted for a corset in anticipation of our 30-year wedding anniversary…God, just fit me for a toe-tag.