The band? — 14 Comments

  1. A Delaware man got a penile implant that resulted in an erection that lasted eight months. Because of this embarassing problem, he couldn’t relax in social situations. He was always a little stiff.

  2. The FBI is searching for Jimmy Hoffa’s body in a field in Michigan. They haven’t found it yet, but it hasn’t been a total waste. So far, they’ve found eleven golf balls, seven socks that don’t match, three sets of car keys and the Kardashians’ virginity.

  3. When I was growing up, I wanted to marry Lara Croft: buxom, adventurous, sexy. Well, here I am in real-life, hitched to Gloom Raider.

  4. Summer is here in Detroit, and they’re looking for Jimmy Hoffa’s body again. This time it’s just an FBI skeleton crew.

  5. I was wondering what you could do with an eight-month erection, after the obvious. Hang your laundry on it? But that would mean you couldn’t go out. Use it as a power pointer? Your audience would leave soon after you took it out. (I wouldn’t recommend doing any deals with those who didn’t leave). Sundial? The neighbors would complain. So I guess the only real option is: Join the NBA.

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