Betty White says she usually keeps her political views to herself, but this year she is announcing her preference for Barack Obama. This is her first public show of support for a candidate since she came out in favor of John Quincy Adams. – Gary Bachman

Hanoi Jane Fonda is going to play Nancy Reagan in a new movie … This is the biggest insult to a national icon since, I don’t know, that Texan played the president of the United States. – Bill Williams

Vladimir Putin was elected President in Russia with 63.8% of the vote, no surprise. He gave a speech thanking the country for that 63.8% of the vote, no surprise. His thank you speech for that 63.8% vote was dated a week before the election. Surprise! – Jerry W  

Chuck E. Cheese is now 35 years old, the age to be eligible to run for president. He decided not to run, though, because there are already enough cheesy cartoon characters in politics. – Terry Etter