Newt beats Mitt in South Carolina! The votes poured into Newt’s camp when at the eleventh hour he made the announcement that his next wife would be his cousin. – Bill Williams

Newt Gingrich is running on a traditional family values platform. So, I guess having had three wives just means he’s extra traditional. – Will Durst

Republican presidential hopeful Newt Gingrich says the Palestinians people “invented” themselves. Like when he told his first two wives they “invented” their cancer. – Bill Williams

If the Republican presidential wannabe Mr. Gingrich were to be photographed by the paparazzi just as he was about to raise his pants after having a vasectomy, would that mean that the photo of him would show him as a newly neutered nude newt? – Jerry W