The Rolling Stones postponed their 50th anniversary tour set for this summer. Seems Mick was getting too much gurney action. – Bill Williams

Long rumored and now confirmed, the Schwarzeneggers are getting back together … It’s so romantic, and everyone’s cheering them. Most of all, Merry Maids of Hollywood. – Bill Williams

Illinois legislature wants to tax strip club customers … Geez! Isn’t knowing you have to go home to your wife taxing enough? – Bill Williams

The Treasury Department has streamlined its refund check policy. They’ve cut out the middleman and are sending the checks directly to the top one percent. – Bill Williams