So now apparently Ted Cruz is trending because he has a beard.
Big deal. How many beards has Lindsey Graham had?



  1. President Trump was invited to former President George H. W. Bush’s funeral but may not be able to attend. If you remember in his inauguration speech he said: Read my lips. No new tuxes.

  2. Trump keeps calling the Mueller investigation a “phony witch hunt.” If it’s phony, it’s not real. That means Trump believes the investigation isn’t really a witch hunt. Hmmm….

  3. Police were called to a NH hotel after someone reported that a nude man was knocking on a guest’s door. He was just trying to deliver some bags.

  4. Its obvious Trump is going to say that he is not connected to, and knew nothing about the corruption rampaging through his administration. He’ll play the incompetence card. And you know what, everyone will buy it.

  5. The damned Carolers have started coming to our house every night to spread their Holiday Cheer. I’m telling you, it is too much of a good sing!

  6. Man arrested for masturbating and simultaneously attempting to penetrate his anus with the handle of a toilet bowl scrubber. It wasn’t his first brush with the law.

  7. Ken Berry, who played bumbling Lieutenant Parmenter on “F Troop,” has died. Too bad. I think he was next up to lead be Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

  8. Heather Nauert, a former Fox News personality, might be the country’s next ambassador to the U.N. She thinks D-Day was evidence of strong relations between the U.S. and Germany. Let’s hope she doesn’t try for good relations with Russia or China.

  9. Donald Trump will handle the coin toss at today’s Army-Navy game. He will use the same coin he flips to make policy decisions.

  10. Forget about that 4G Network Technology. Let me tell you confused males about 3T Female Reality: Temper, Tits and Tampons.

  11. More big staffing changes at the White House. I wonder how long before they rename it Altamont and hire the Hell’s Angels.

  12. Woman claims she’s had sex with 20 ghosts. I think she’s had too many spirits. Sadly, sex is all they wanted–she could see right through them.

  13. A woman who married the ghost of a pirate has revealed she has split from her 300-year-old husband. They Arrrgued constantly. A court will determine who gets the ship, buried treasure, and custody of a 250-year-old parrot.

  14. The holidays are tough these days. My wife decorated our tree while listening to a podcast discussing the various Trump scandals. We now have a Christmas tree that looks like Michael Cohen.

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