1. Florida. Why is it always Florida? They can’t count. They can’t drive. I’ve had it with Florida. Let’s just cut it off at the Georgia border and kick it in the Caribbean. 49 states is plenty. It’ll work out fine for the flag. 7 rows of 7 stars. Who’s with me?

  2. Hunting for comedy…Two bucks clatter into a bar. The first shakes his antlers and says: “I don’t have any doe.” The second snorts and replies: “You’re lucky. I feel like I’m in a rut.”

  3. I can’t tell. Is this culturally insensitive:
    Brett Kavanaugh isn’t just white, he’s translucent. This guy makes Mitch McConnell look like a founding member of Harlem’s Frederick Douglas Gangsta Rap B- Ball League.

  4. President Trump is so discombobulated by all the Blue people in Washington, the other day he held his umbrella over Melania’s head by mistake.

  5. Donald Trump toured California’s wildfire devastation with Governor-elect Gavin Newsom. How embarrassing for the president. Not only was Gavin once married to Don Jr.’s girlfriend, his putter is 50 years younger.

  6. ESPN reports that Browns fan Condoleeza Rice may be interviewed for the Browns’ head coaching job. This is same Condoleeza Rice who helped mislead Congress about whether there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. With Trump in the White House the new business plan must be “Hire a Liar.”

  7. I attended a Tech and Electronics show in Las Vegas,and fell in love with a female mechanical creature. I’m telling you, she had such a great bot…

  8. its Thanksgiving Eve Eve Eve. and there are so many things to be thankful.
    For the fact that the Pilgrims chose to celebrate on a Thursday providing their descendants with a unique 4 day weekend to kick off the Christmas shopping season.
    For spoonsful of peanut butter right out of the jar.
    For Donald Trump’s unceasing efforts to provide daily comedic fodder on an hourly basis. Minutely.
    For being alive during the Platinum Age of television.

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