1. Kourtney Kardashian and Luka Sabbat were seen together leaving a church in LA. Church is the only place a Kardashian kneels to PRAY.

  2. Brett Kavanaugh seems to have the temperament of a defensive spoiled 8th grader who got caught in a lie and is bluffing his way through with overwrought indignation. Methinks the lady doth protest too much.

  3. A Fort Collins, Colorado, police department reported a call from a 10-
    year-old boy who needed help — with his math homework. It seemed obvious he should call them, the teacher asked: If two cops are driving from Denver to Boise, how many donuts will they need?

  4. Elon Musk’s Space-X company says it will give a Japanese billionaire an epic ride around the Moon for some serious cash. Guess it’s true that there’s no free launch.

  5. In January Dunk’in Donuts is dropping the second part of its name. The National Association of Police plans a protest, so maybe the change isn’t a slam-dunk.

  6. “Bring your Grandpa to Elementary School Day” had the 20-something teacher beckoning me to the front to describe my many years on earth in one sentence: “Decisions, decisions, and all of them wrong…”

  7. The last time I played the Ann Arbor Comedy Showcase everyone left in the first three minutes. Except one woman by the stage, and she was dead.

  8. Sarah Palin’s eldest son, Track, arrested on domestic violence charges. This is not the first time he has run afoul of the law. He’s establishing quite a track record.

  9. Surgeons in China grew a new nose on the forehead of a man who injured his original one in a car accident. That’s nothing–when I was in 5th grade, I had a teacher with eyes in the back of her head.

  10. I’m very organized. Every Sunday night I create a “to do” list for the week ahead. Monday I plan to do Kathy; Tuesday Maureen; Wednesday . . .

  11. A couple was seen smoking drugs inside a tent they pitched on a subway car in New York City. Getting high was their “in tent.”

  12. My trashy girlfriend says: “Some people stare at me when I bowllng ..? Guess they’re jeolose.” Both of her form and her spelling prowess, I believe.

  13. Actor Wayne Johnson says he is seriously considering a run for President in 2020. My guess is that he will be popular with females. I mean this Johnson is know as The Rock!

  14. Trump says that he and Kim Jong Un “fell in love” over “beautiful letters” Kim wrote. Their pet names for each other must be “Rocket Man” and “Dotard.”

  15. The U.S. Ryder Cup golfers were very wise to lose to the European team. Now they don’t have to turn down a trip to the White House.

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