1. Sports Medicine Center at Children’s Hospital in Colorado developed a concussion test for kids suffering from a suspected sports injury. They ask the player to walk forward and spell a word backwards. Doctors got the idea from the test to be on Trump’s cabinet. Walk backwards and spell the word boob forwards.

  2. $45,000-per-year private school in uproar over plan to ‘segregate’ students by race. ***That’s funny, usually, private schools just segregate students by income

  3. Albuquerque TV newscast canceled after ‘intruder’ enters newsroom; station’s feed briefly goes “Dark.” ***Usually, going “Dark” is a term used when E! airs the latest episode of “Keeping up with the Kardashians.” (Let me try that again…) Normally when a television network goes “dark” it’s because Khloé has started dating again. (Better? Tough crowd)

  4. A Norwegian Cruise Line crew member who fell overboard was rescued after 22 hours by a Carnival cruise ship. *** He could have been rescued earlier, but It took that long to convince him floating with a life vest was not safer than being on Carnival

  5. A boys’ soccer team trapped in a flooded cave were found alive after nine days are said to be ‘excited’ to be discovered **As excited as soccer fans were when Russia won on penalty kicks? Maybe not, but you know what I mean…

  6. Beyoncé and Jay-Z’s “On the Run II” Tour had a mishap when the former Destiny’s Child front-woman had to climb down a ladder after a stage breaks during her live performance. ***I’d suggest an elevator next time, but then remembered Jay-Z was w/her, so…

  7. How Many Teenage Girls Deliberately Harm Themselves? Nearly 1 in 4, Survey Finds. ***The other three don’t need to since they get harmed enough by other teen girls.

  8. Golfer Jeff Dahmen accused Sung Kang of cheating in the final round of the Quicken Loans National, saying he took an improper drop. ***I miss the old days when rules infraction controversies were phoned in by fans watching on TV

  9. Potential terror plot in Cleveland foiled: FBI Nabs Terrorists **Apparently they caught the dudes because they were the only people in the whole city wearing #23 and it just became too suspicious

  10. A topless woman in Montana is accused of crashing a front-end loader into an apartment building, then climbing on top of it to get into her apartment. It’s not clear how loaded her front end was.

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