1. Dopey Donald said he thinks its great that Xi Jinping will be Chinese President for life, and maybe the US will do the same some day. If that happens Mexico will indeed build a wall. To control our emigration.

  2. A new report says Putin himself vetoed Mitt Romney as Dopey Donald’s first choice for Secretary of State. Also, 3 Billboards was supposed to win Best Picture until the Russkies put in their 2 cents worth.

  3. 289 million years ago the reptile Captorhinus was the first species to detach its tail to escape capture. Of course nowadays it’s called plea bargain.

  4. Russ Solomon, founder of Tower Records, passed away at the age of 92. You can hear his eulogy for a quarter on the jukebox down at Bob’s Big Boy.

  5. Kourtney, Kim and Khloe have been taking Japan by storm this week, rocking a variety of eye-popping styles for their chic Kardashian Sisters’ Trip to Asia. Those girls just can’t escape publicity. Kim went for a massage wearing her trademark thong panties and got inducted into the Sumo Wrestlers Hall of Fame.

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