1. I’m putting together a blues band and need to find a bass player. No luck so far, and I must admit that I am getting tired of bass fishing.

  2. I’ve recently started dating a Chinese woman named Sue. She lives on Ransom Street. What could could go Wong?

  3. The NRA’s response to guns in schools continues to be… less schools. With the added benefit of a less educated populace meaning more Republican gun owners.

  4. The city of Montclair, California, has banned pedestrians from looking down at their smart phones while crossing the street. Those officially exempt are people reading the newspaper. Wood pulp is so Gen X.

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