1. There is a point when the computer dating “match” suggests meeting for coffee and you have to decide whether to take the next step. Something about her name, May Hem, worries me…

  2. The Cleveland Indians are getting rid of the ‘Chief Wahoo’ logo. They will change their name to the Cleveland Caucasians with a logo of a middle-aged white guy wearing a polo shirt and khaki shorts.

  3. There’s a spelling error on tickets for the State of the Union Address. Should have read Mrs. Trump, not Mrs. Tramp.

  4. Christopher Dionne, who has starred in several home improvement shows, was arrested for sexual assault. The incident allegedly occurred on top of a brand new custom granite countertop.

  5. Bazillionaire, and Vegas casino owner Steve Wynn resigned as finance chairman of the Republican National Committee. But not because of those sexual misconduct claims like you might think. It seems during a short arm inspection he was caught hanging to the left.

  6. Watched the State of the Union Address and my compliments to the First Responders. You couldn’t even tell his pants were on fire.

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