1. My mom has dementia, which leads to some odd moments. Today she was swatting at her TV “Because that strange man with fake hair says he is the President.”

  2. A reptile dealer in Thailand has developed a way to breed two-headed turtles. She says they make perfect politicians. Two faced.

  3. Prince William warns that there are too many people in the world as he prepares to welcome his third child. Can’t wait for his next lecture on the unequal distribution of wealth.

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