BILL WILLIAMS says:
A 92-year-old Iowa man who won a $390,000 lottery jackpot said his windfall was predicted by a fortune cookie. The fortune cookie told him he would meet many tall, green and wrinkled strangers.
Always Funny
Topical humor from the world's best humorists
Don’t understand Houston being the sentimental World Series favorite because of the hurricane. Hey, LA was recently hit with a bad batch of botox.
I think I’m doomed. The only time my wife is “in the mood” is when I am out of town, and I rarely leave the house.
In San Francisco the sight of witches and goblins and fiends and imps and Ewoks is no big deal, mostly because in this town, Halloween is redundant.
So could we have Frank Underwood and Donald Trump out of office in the same year?
Saw a kid on the street trick or treating today just in a white sheet. Kept wondering if he was going as a ghost, a ghoul or Steve Bannon.
World Series pitchers are claiming balls are “juiced” so they fly further, hence a record 22 home runs already. “I have a solution for that” mumbled Tom Brady to no one in particular.
The FBI used a no-knock raid against former Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort to gain evidence on his Ruskie ties. Basically, it’s an adaptation of Kevin Spacey’s raid policy. Throw the bad boy on the bed and roll around on top of him.