1. Authorities in Arkansas are seeking a pair of toilet paper bandits caught on camera taking rolls of tissue from a public park restroom. T.P. police report the men appear very flushed, and definitely have a square to spare.

  2. North Carolina police say no one was hurt when a tractor-trailer flipped onto its side destroying over 13,000 Vodka bottles … No one hurt! That’s 156,000 dead Bloody Marys?

  3. Angelina Jolie’s double mastectomy to reduce her risk of breast cancer has led many other women to follow suit. In fact, it’s almost an epidemic. And surprise surprise, Hooters is jumping on the bandwagon too. It’s renamed itself, B. Hinds.

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