1. A Stamford, Connecticut, proposed law would ban texting and walking. It’s just another copycat law. They got the idea from Alabama, where it’s against the law to walk and chew gum.

  2. A study done at the University of Virginia says if you weren’t popular in high school but have close adult friends, you can will have a happy life. Another study, done by a university no one can remember, says if you weren’t popular in high school, and do not have any adult friends, don’t fret too much. You can get elected president, then get even with ‘em all.

  3. Car colors have gotten WAY to artsy for me. Chocolate Cranberry Crunch? Seriously, I just want to drive the automobile, not eat it.

  4. Tattoos are a mystery. How can you beat the sheer beauty of skin? It’s like graffiti on butterfly. OK, bad example.

  5. Trump says there are 2 sides to every story. And generally speaking, that’s true. Except when one of the sides has Nazis. Then there’s only one side to the story.

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