1. Hey, this is for all you lawyers out there. I know all about litigation. I’ve been burned by every comedy club in Michigan. How can I be a headliner, and they won’t even validate my parking?

  2. Lately I’m seriously questioning my self-worth. I found a Members Only brand jacket at the Salvation Army, and they refused to sell it to me.

  3. Renovations in the White House West Wing are taking place to replace a 27-year-old heating system. Is this really necessary—the Trump administration has been getting plenty of heat.

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