1. Trump’s wife is taking a pretty low-key approach to her role as First Lady. So far she hasn’t appeared in any new topless photos, or bared her backside. Her husband seems to be the primary ass thus far.

  2. Some friends at work set me up for a blind date, saying she was a “real Babe.” Yeah, right. I went to pick her up, and it turns out their description was accurate. She resembled a blue ox.

  3. A 19-year-old Chinese girl just won the Most Beautiful Buttocks in China contest. And her buttocks are magnificent. So magnificent, in fact, Kanye West has changed his name to Kanye East.

  4. At the G20 Summit Putin and Trump talked for 2 hours about Russian meddling in our election. Trump said he was completely satisfied nothing untoward happened. Sounds like Putin touched Trump’s G spot.

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