The second mouse gets the cheese.

BILL WILLIAMS says:

In his new book, The Cheese Trap, Dr. Neal Barnard claims Velveeta cheese is as addictive as heroin. What’s great about Velveeta is you can eat it and get high, jam it between bricks to make a fireplace, or leave the plastic on and have a dandy bookmark.


Comments

The second mouse gets the cheese. — 25 Comments

  1. Kent State’s Golden Flashes have the least money of any team in March Madness. In fact, they are so poor, President Trump is thinking of calling in the National Guard to shoot some baskets.

  2. Muhammad Ali’s widow and son have had problems getting through airport security lately. I’m not sure it’s because of their Muslim names, though. After all, you never hear about security stopping Ali MacGraw.

  3. So Trump thought a line from a Nigerian poem was an Irish proverb. Pence used a phrase that is mildly insulting to the Irish. And Paul Ryan thought that golf is Ireland’s national sport, when it’s really Scotland’s. Suddenly, everyone in Washington is Dan Quayle.

  4. During a Fox News interview Donald Trump complained Alec Baldwin’s impersonation of him was ridiculous. He said as President and Commander-in-Chief he couldn’t do anything about it. But he did utter an evocative quote: Will no one rid me of this corpulent bald one.

  5. The new Disney film Beauty and the Beast has been banned in places like Alabama and Malaysia due to one of its characters being gay. But Donald Duck can run around “commando”, and also not wear any pants at all; without controversy.

    (Gary B. was inspiration for this joke)

  6. I had to tell a non basketball fan that the Zags were not named after one of the guys that invented that ‘rolling paper’. (and Duke is not named after John Wayne)

  7. Drumph mouthpiece Kellyanne CON-way in an interview claimed that “microwaves are able to be turned into surveillance and can spy on you”. “You’re kidding, aren’t you?” exclaimed Fox Sports reporter Erin Andrews.

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