Can’t count to three. — 9 Comments

  1. For the first time since the nuclear disaster in 2011, radiation from Japan’s Fukushima plant has reached the West Coast of the U.S. per samples taken along the Oregon coast. Scientists say it’s not a worrisome amount, but still best to smoke Colorado pot and eat only bottled Doritos.

  2. Bill Gates visited Trump just a few hours after Kanye West did. Gates and West share a common bond. Bill Gates owns Microsoft. Kanye West has a micro soft brain.

  3. MLB has decreed that the hazing ritual of making rookies dress up in women’s clothes is now prohibited. That’s too bad; I really was looking forward to seeing Mrs. Doubtfire in the Yankees’ bullpen next year.

  4. Alberta Motor Vehicles Branch are warning the public that moose have been spotted licking salt off vehicles. I’ve never seen that, but once I saw a couple of cougars showing off their skills in a bar licking the rims of Margaritas.

  5. News is out that legendary musical artist Phil Collins cheated on his first two wives. It must have been easy for him to find Easy Lovers. He obviously broke Two Hearts. Finally, he married and split with his third wife, Orianne and Against All Odds, they have reunited. To Phil, it’s all Just Another Day in Paradise.

  6. ZZ Top guitarist Billy Gibbons turns 67 today. I wouldn’t say he’s getting old, but now his idea of a “Sharp Dressed Man” is a guy with his pants pulled up to his armpits.

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