Cute. — 26 Comments

  1. More and more men are ignoring women and going home with their smart phones. And why not? You can talk really sexy with Siri, she gives impeccable Fantasy Football advice … And there are no in-laws.

  2. Cher says she’ll leave the country because of Trump. She dosen’t know where yet, but how about Cuba. They’re whizzes at keeping old American chassis running with homemade parts.

  3. Rumor has it Trump is considering Mitt Romney for a cabinet post. Yeah, sure. After that campaign they waged with each other it must be Secretary of the Inferior.

  4. In Freehold NJ, biker Dan Barkalow stopped to help a fellow stranded rider who had broken down. It turned out to Bruce Springsteen. So of all the choppers sold in New Jersey, “The Boss” bought one that wasn’t Born to Run.

  5. Steve Bannon is in the White House thanks to Donald. That move saved Uncle Sam a few dollars. They won’t have to repaint it for another 4 years as it’s now Whiter than it’s ever been!

  6. Gronk was groggy on Sunday after the vicious hit he took from Seahawk Earl Thomas. Concussion protocol usually involves simple questions like: Stadium that you’re in, score of game and your name. He passed the 1st two, but doctors removed him immediately when he said he was Wes Welker.

    Patriots failed to score 4 times from the one yard line in order to tie the Seahawks on Sunday. Coach Belichick said “At least we didn’t throw an interception” and then quoted his buddy Donald Trump… “That makes me smart!”

  7. Vice president-elect Mike Pence was booed at the hit broadway play Hamilton. Guess he shouldn’t have worn his Make America Great Again crown.

  8. At San Francisco airport a man and woman got into such a heated argument over Donald Trump the pilot refused to fly the plane. After calming them down and moving the woman further back in coach the flight was able to begin. Actually this was pretty good for United. It gave them a chance to collect their new “nasty woman” fee.

  9. Donald Trump has already boosted the economy with the production of “Not My President” bumper stickers, t-shirts, and buttons.

  10. The sea ice levels of the Arctic and Antarctic are both at record low levels. Scientists blame unusually warm weather. Ya think so, huh?

  11. Donald Trump has started filling his Cabinet with names like Jeff Sessions and Reince Priebus. So I’m filling my cabinet with names like Jim Beam and Jack Daniels.

  12. Buckingham Palace, home of Queen Elizabeth is scheduled for a $458 million makeover. The 313-year-old castle is getting new wiring, plumbing, and heating system. They’ve even opted for a heated throne. Too much royal chapping.

  13. Heard of that new reality show, Masters of Flip? We’ve just lived its political doppelgänger: Hillary’s campaign … Masters of Flop.

  14. The new Disney World holiday light show features 300 illuminated flying drones choreographed to light the skies with a Christmas tree while holiday music plays in the background. And if you go to you can see Daisy Duck sunbathing topless in her backyard.

  15. South Carolina State put in walk-on RB Joe Thomas Sr., 55, whose son Joe Jr. plays for the Green Bay Packers, for four plays on Saturday. Uh oh, nobody tell Brett Favre.

    #1 Alabama today at home to take on the powerhouse Chattanooga. But hey, only in the SEC can you take on a school most people don’t realize has a football team, and still probably get points from voters based on perceived strength of schedule.

    Ray Lewis dissed Ravens QB Joe Flacco: “Gifted? Absolutely. Passionate about what he do? I’ve never seen that.”

    Well, at least Lewis didn’t say Flacco doesn’t have a killer instinct.

  16. Toys ‘R’ Us pulled Tonka toy truck after it apparently caught fire. I see that the designers of the Samsung 7 phone found a new job.

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