Beats a Dodge Ram! — 44 Comments

  1. The Toronto Blue Jays will be no longer serve beer in cans because at the last game a fan threw a beer can at Orioles left fielder Hyun Soo Kim. Yeah, the guy did throw a beer can, but what’s the big deal? It was a Bud Light.

  2. Too bad John McCain wasn’t debating Hillary last night. He could have said, “I served with Abe Lincoln. I knew Abe Lincoln. Mrs. Clinton, you’re no Abe Lincoln.”

  3. Apparently, Donald Trump and Mike Pence have different views on Syria and other issues. Perhaps we need to add a debate between Trump and his running mate.

  4. Carrie Fisher believes Trump’s sniffling stems from cocaine use. Perhaps a woman’s vagina isn’t the only crack he had his hands on.

  5. Monday was the anniversary of Spiro T. Agnew’s resignation from the Vice Presidency. Forty-three years ago. His shame was kinda’ like Trump’s shame, only he couldn’t keep his hands off the boys: Jackson, Grant, and most of all Ben Franklin.

  6. Tiger Woods withdrew from the Safeway Open in Napa saying he’s not strong enough yet for competitive golf. And it was obvious to everyone there. He pinched a waitress’ butt and it didn’t even leave a mark.

  7. Room Service at Trump hotels gets you servers who argue with you about what you ordered, and then blame ISIS for the screw-ups.

  8. Trumpkins, pumpkins carved in the image of Donald Trump are popular this year. Can’t think of anything more scary than these wack o’ lanterns.

  9. You have to understand, my wife is dyslectic. Yesterday she came home from the dentist in a crying jag. “Dr. Gibson says I have plague in my mouth!” Damn, girl. Thank god it’s actually plaque.

  10. President Obama published an opinion piece outlining plans for the United States to send humans to Mars by the 2030. In fact, he’s got the first candidate in mind. Mainly because that thing growing on his head could support human life for who knows how long.

  11. Miley Cyrus says she is pansexual. Means, not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity. In other words: Comic-Cons are her game.

  12. MIT researchers have developed an electrically-conductive sponge that could pave the way for power storage that beats batteries a thousand to one. This means you could recharge your Tesla or BMW i3 in seconds. The question is … Are you sponge worthy? 

  13. You can’t make this stuff up. Trump campaign manager KellyAnne Conway told GOP leaders who may be wavering in their support: “Enough of the pussyfooting around”
    So was that supposed to be an attention grabbing comment?

  14. Bob Dylan’s songwriting won him the Nobel prize for Literature. Can’t believe the award wasn’t given to Hanson for MMMbop.

  15. Thailand’s King Bhumibol, world’s longest reigning monarch, died at 88. He was on the throne longer than Chris Christie after eating Taco Bell.

  16. Legoland theme park and hotel in Florida was shut down last week after a bomb threat. Although there were no injuries to any of the park guests, one cop took a bad fall after accidentally stepping on Banana Guy.

  17. “Naked” wedding gowns are a hot bridal trend. Brides will be wearing something old, something new, something borrowed, something see thru.

  18. Donald Trump proposes that he and Hillary take a drug test prior to their next debate. Well, we know they wouldn’t test positive for truth serum.

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