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Macaroni easterns? — 12 Comments

  1. Las Vegas has landed an NHL franchise. The league had to make one rule change for games played in Vegas. There’s no penalty for hooking.

  2. I asked my girlfriend up to my apartment to see my “legless lizard.” She refused. The cold-blooded bitch.

  3. You can’t make this sh*t up dept:

    A local golf tournament is partly sponsored by a Funeral Home. So if you get killed by an errant shot or crash your cart into a tree, they’ll be right there for you.

    Also in today’s obits is a man who worked as an electrician for the past 60 years. Of course, after his “celebration of life” a light lunch would be served.

  4. This fall Californians can vote for the legalization of recreational marijuana. And to prove they really are Hollywood’s naughtiest family, preproduction has started on, “Getting High With the Kardashians.”  

  5. Michael Phelps has qualified for five Olympics now. He’s called America’s Greatest Swimmer. Or as he’s known in home town Baltimore, the Old Man and the Bong.

  6. Oregon pot stores give a ten percent discount to all seniors. A discount which can be taken in either cash, or gummable Doritos.

  7. In an aim to cut down on air pollution Paris has banned weekday driving of cars made before 1997. In another aim, this time to cutdown on intellectual pollution they’ve banned all Jerry Lewis impersonations by anyone born before 1957.

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