GARY BACHMAN says:
Archaeologists have discovered an ancient slab bearing a lost language–English.
Always Funny
Topical humor from the world's best humorists
GARY BACHMAN says:
Archaeologists have discovered an ancient slab bearing a lost language–English.
Ted Cruz and John Kasich are joining forces to try to stop Donald Trump. That has as much chance for success as when Sears merged with K-Mart to take on Wal-Mart.
Court of Appeals has reinstated Tom Brady’s four game suspension. Just when you thought all the air had gone out of this controversy.
Costco may raise annual membership fees by $5 to $10. Customers bulk at increase.
Boston Celtics guard Marcus Smart was fined for a flop. Yet Adam Sandler goes unpunished.
President Obama and First Lady Michelle flew to Windsor Castle last weekend to celebrate Queen Elizabeth’s 90th birthday. The president gave her a real leather photo album of all the American presidents who visited during her 64 year reign. First Lady Michelle gave her a real leather saddle once worn by Charlie’s wife Camilla.
After studying 45,000 men, researchers in Sweden have determined those who regularly smoked pot in their teens were 40 percent more likely to die young. BA-LO-NEY! What about Willie Nelson? What about Keith Richards? Actually…a baloney sandwich would go good with my Doritos right now.
Fiat-Chrysler is recalling more than 1.1 million Dodges, Chryslers and Jeeps because they don’t always go into park when the gear lever says they are. This is dangerous because your car could roll down the street and hit a parked car. Even worse, it could hit a Prius and make it go over 15 miles an hour.
Jason Clarke has come on to star as Sen. Ted Kennedy in the indie “Chappaquiddick.” Before Clarke signed on, the film was dead in the water.
Senator Sanders is trying to attract senior citizens. Of course, you ask them to Feel the Bern and they worry you’re talking about psoriasis.
Colma, California has 1,500 living residents and 1.5 million marked graves. And you thought your town was dead.
A champion gay wrestler from Mexico competes in drag. Bet no one questions which bathroom he uses.
Just thinking, if Moses tried to lead his people out of Egypt today how many would have had to be left behind bitching about food allergies?
I have to chuckle when I see teen girls in ripped jeans and crop-tops at the makeup counter trying on “blush.” God knows nothing else but cosmetics could make this happen for reals.
On iTunes I merged Beyonce’s “Lemonade” with Ice T’s “Greatest Hits” and called it an Arnold Palmer.
Nothing new here. Our pantry has always been packed with “Ancient Grains.” Some with expiration codes back in the 1990s…who remembers “Space Invaders” cereal?
Sexist? Yeah, probably…I like my women like I like my cars: wide open.
Tom Brady’s four-game suspension was reinstated by a U.S. appeals court. Court ruled the “Deflategate” quarterback, like Lance Armstrong, had only one ball to worry about and should have noticed.
The Pennsylvania man who bought First Lady Hillary Clinton’s used 86’ Olds for $2000 when she left the White House just sold it for 60 grand on eBay. Course he fixed it up a little. New tires, new carpets, removed the Liar’s Dice Cups from the console.